The things we’ve learned about Xtina from her interviews leading up to the release of the MUCH ANTICIPATED “Lotus”: she’s thick, she’s delusional, she loves to troll and is delusional.

It’s business as usual for the curvaceous singer. Here are some very important insights from the fog horn of pop:

Realtina loves her curves: “Actually, the challenge I’ve always had is being too thin, so I love that now I have a booty, and obviously I love showing my cleavage.”

Floptina has learned nothing from her past flop(s) and has a superiority complex: “But if you weren’t a music person, it was just going to go over your head. A lot of the collaborations were with people that were either very underground or weren’t necessarily from the pop world. I really think it was far ahead of its time and it’ll be fully appreciated in the years to come.”

Trolltina never passes up the opportunity to pick a fight or get a dig in, no matter how stale the subject matter may be: “I don’t really push myself to have those formulaic commercial successes… he (Max Martin) did all the Britney and N’Sync songs, and I was doing something a little more daring.”

Lotustina is as delusional as ever, and isn’t afraid to blatantly nod at past successes to desperately push a new record: “I want it to inspire a whole new generation. I have six-year-old fans that weren’t even around for ‘Genie in a Bottle’ or even ‘Fighter.'”

There’s something that I’m really starting to respect about her from all of this grandiose nonsense. She’s loving her body and still flashing as much skin as possible, despite haters hating. She’s ignoring the fact that many regard her as insufferable for being a hubristic trash-talker and is still spewing a whole lotta bile in favor of herself. And she’s getting back to the pro-sluttery empowerment themes that built her a fan base, despite it being redundant, obviously calculated, and seemingly-tame in a 10 years post-‘Stripped’ world. Reclaiming her station is a matter that is important to her, and she will attempt to do so without compromising her own terrible instincts.

Xtina carries an air of authenticity in a pop-lanscape filled with Gagas who exploit the concept of “being different” only to hawk health water on the sly to their lemming fans. She’s genuine: a genuine food-binger, a genuine bad-sport, and a genuine exhibitionist ho who’s not letting a few extra pounds get in the way of touting her mad sluttery skills. The picture of delusional self-assurance wants to have her cake and sell records too, and will pursue success by any means necessary – as long as there’s the opportunity to talk herself up (and knock a few others down) along the way.